my stormy life
I have been BLESSED with managing my daily living. I must say daily living because each day brings something new that I have to master. Growing up in Washington, D. C. where everything is at a very fast paste, I truly had to run to keep my head above waters.I knew something was wrong but I did not know how to explain it to my loving family or anybody. I just kept it to myself. This caused me to feel as if I was different from my peers. I was often left out of the fun things and had very few friends. Most of them were somewhat like me. My grades were good except math so every summer from 4th grades through 7th I had to go to summer school.
My parents were very involved in my education and they too knew that something was keeping me from becoming all that I could be. My Mom requested that the school needed to find out what was keeping me from understanding simple math (to her it was simple math but to me, it felt like I had a BIG MONSTER in my head). After testing it was discovered that I had a Learning Disability (LD). It is a Blessing that we now knew what the problem so now people could help me work on the problem. I accepted Special Education as my way to maintaining my grades and being able to learn. One of the main factors was that I learned a little different than others. Don’t we all? The test reviled that I had problems processing information. Sometimes I have to do it my way. This may seem off to many but it’s my solution. Just when we thought we had mastered my problems and life was going to be better; I was faced with a bigger MONSTER. This one was Menial Illness.
Again, I was dealing with something that I had kept to myself for a few years. I now know that when something is not right with you, you need to share it with somebody you trust and get some help in dealing with the problem. Two things are very important in life to all of us 1) Sharing your concerns with others and 2) Get help! As a teen, I started to hear voices in my head. These voices became louder and louder and seemed REAL to me. They often told me bad things about people that I loved and people that I didn’t even know. Sometimes they told me to do mean thing to others. When I was eighteen (18) years old the voices told me to go next door and harm a person that was doing things to hurt me. I got a knife and starting banging on her grandmother’s door. The funny thing is the young lady that the voices told me to go after didn’t even live there and never did. My mom did one of the hardest things she probably will ever have to do in her life; she called the police. Somehow, IT HAD TO BE GOD, she was able to get the knife away from me before the police arrived. Just think, I could have been shot by the police because of the knife. The police transported me to a mental hospital. There they diagnosed me as having a disease called Paranoid Schizophrenia. They put me on medication and in a few days the voices became lower and I was able to manage better. It seemed as if a bad storm had just passed over with just a little rain shower left behind.
I can see the sun. The storm in my brain may still be there but I have learned how to manage with support and assistance of others. Remember, I have two major functioning factors that need adjustment and good management each day. That’s why I say that I manage my daily living each day. It sometimes is hard but somehow I along with medication and assistance from others get by. I should add that if you are on medication you must have a good communication with your doctor and a third thing one must do. 3)
Keep your doctor's appointment and take your medications.
I must say, I have had a good life. Even with a learning disability, I was able to go to college bachelors a bachelors degree in social services. I was able to locate a college that specializes in teaching students with LD. I am most proud of the fact that I got my own funds to pay for my education. I went to Rehabilitation Administration and stated my case for a better education and they paid for my college education. Again, asking for help was the key here.
To read more about this stormy life you can get a copy of my book, BRAINSTORM on line at Barnes and Noble.com or at Page Publishing, Inc. New York, NY
I am always,